The Nasty Stuff
by Precambrian Studios
Summary: I've written multiple stories for the Daria fandom that are either intentionally bad or just down-right nasty. Here are a few.
1. What Crayon?

Darea went throoh the portal behind the Japanese restuarant and ended up in california land of surfers and dummies. So she went to have a pizza and then went to the bathroom, and it felt good. after she went she and got a soda. then she went surfing because it was california.

then she went to see the writer of thismagnificent fic and thanked him for being so awesome and then she left. then she went and saw a movie. Then she weent to Janus's house and played basketball with her becauswe she had notjjhing interesting to do. So then Daira wemt over to Tom's house and made out with me because people told her it would be sexy and she said okay and tried ut owt. And then because she didnt like it she left and wentand to the bathroom.

So then finally Darie wnet to bed and had sweet dreams of sexy books and essays the end.


	2. Two Cynics, One Cup

Jane found Daria leaning against the wall inside the girl's bathroom.

"Whatcha in here for?" Jane asked. "Do the sounds of flushing toilets soothe your ever-troubled soul?"

Andrea stepped out of a stall, and handed Daria a cup. "Slightly jiggly, just the way you like it."

After she left, Jane flashed a grin. "What are you going to do? Put it in your sister's backpack?"

Daria stared at Jane for a moment. Then she downed the whole cup.

-That one managed to seriously gross out MANY people on the PPMB.


	3. Daria's Secret Hentai Fantasies

While O'Neill prattled on about the critical divisions concerning John Irving, Daria dreamed of swapping all of her mother's legal papers with Hentai magazines, with an attached note: "Have a nice day mom! Quinn."


	4. Daria and Beiber

Daria, this girl who hates absolutely everyone in the world was walking home one day because she had to go home. She said, "Ugh, I can't WAIT to do my homework. It's the only reason I don't slit my own rists."  
She went inside. Quinn said, "Ugh, Daria, you look so ugly!"  
Daria gave her the bird. "**** off, you ginger freak." She went upstairs, did her homework, and slept. Then she called Jane and asked her if she wanted to get a bite of pizza. Jane said yes. she put on her crocs and they went to go eat pizza. It good  
Jane said, "So, have you heard about this kid Just in Beiber?" she said. "He annoys the hell out of me." said Daria.  
"He's kinda cute though," Jane said, stairing dreamily out the glass window. "**** no. He's a fugly bitch." said Daria.  
Jane poutted. "He Is NOT!" "Well then I wil bring him back here nad prove he's a fugly bitch.""FINE!" Jane said."FINE!" Daria said two.  
Daria went home and screamed cause Jane said those nasty things to her face. Then she got really emotionless and said with a blank voice "I will do it, even it takes foreverh. I will drag Justin Beiber here by his **** if I have to. I wihl show Jane he's a fugly bitch."  
So Daria wnet on her computer and checked where the Beibs was gonna be. She saw that he would be at Lawndale. "Yes!" said Daria. "That really good." Waiting for his concert sucked. Daria waited. And waited. And waited. She waited so much she wanted to screaming. It was pure suckage. It sucked more than anything that sucked. Then the day came when Beiber came. Daria was uber glad that she did not have to wait anymore. She couldn't do anymore sucking. She went to Beiber's concert. There were so many girls there screaming. Teachers were there too. They screamed too. Even some GUYS were there, like Mr. Oneill. He had his hand over his heart and was swooning where he was standing. Daria guessed he was emotional and continued on, looking for Beiber. Maybe he would be in the crowd, she thought. She looked and looked. She rubbed her lenses so that she would have better sight. Alas, it was not to be. Daria did not see Beiber. Then she slapped her head and said, "DUH! Moron, go look backstage!" She went backstage and found Beiber sitting at his desk writing. which confused Daria because he was not in school. She said, "Justin Beiber. You will come with me or else." He looked at her. "Woah. You're hot," he sad with his tongue hanging out like a cat.  
Daria blushed, but she thought, no, you are here to destryo him. You will take him to Jane and show her he's a fugly bitch. "Thanks. Will you come with me?" "No," said Daria. "Why?" said Beiber "I have a concert." said Daria. Daria had a idea that was smart. "If you come with me, I will be your girlfriend."  
"Hells yeah! Suck it, Selena!" To Darias horror, he took her hand and pulled her off to his limo. "Come on!" said Beiber to Daria. "I will show you the entire world!" the limo bounced with energy  
Daria suddenly felt sick. She did not want to go with Beiber. He was dumb. She did not like dumb. Dumb was stupid. But she went anyways. And even though she did not like it, she went around the world with Beiber, and got married to him. Everyone who was awesome was at the wedding, like Kim. K, and Paul McCarthy. Daria frowned. This will not help me prove to Jane that he is fugly, she thought. When it was finally over, Daria said "Look Beiber this is not working I am leaving you," said Daria. Beiber screamed. He screamed so much that his head blow up. "Sorry," said Beiber. He screamed so much that he had a hard attack and died. Daria did a fist pump. She dragged him to Jane, who said, "He is not fugly. He is ever prettier now that he has dead." Daria screamed. But then she had an idea. She told her super-cool idea to Jane. Jane said. "That idea BLOWS!" She flipped her hair in defyance Daria gave her finger. "**** you." Daria went and fownd the biggest nerd in the world. She took nerd to her room and sed she needed his help. Nerd mad, not want to. Daria kissed him. The nerd now wanted to. He took Daria and showed her his big thing of equipment. "This is my voice and face decumpolsor," he explained. "It's cool and big" Daria nodded presumptuously. "It is cool."  
The nerd lever pulled down the. "So, this will make him look ugly." there was a loud nosie There was electrical stuff, and on a big fat screen Beiber's face was now ugly! It was so ugly the nerd died, but not Daria because she has no emotions at all. She smiled like an evil villain. "Yes I will use this." Sge went on top of Lawndale school foor. She put the device on the highest building that was like a hundred miles ooff the ground. She used the device. Suddenly everyone in the world thought Beiber was ugly. They all thought he was so ugly that the cut themselves. Daria went to Jane. Jane went to Daria first and she said sorry. Daria said, "You are not forgiven bitch." She punched Kane in the balls. Daria smiled. She have done it.

-I wrote this under one of my sock-puppet accounts on the PPMB called "I luv words." If you think this one is bad, there's another I wrote on the PPMB that actually earned me some threats. I'll put that up here later.

Thanks to Brother Grimace for beta-reading!


End file.
